Problem: During our relationship, I have become very impatient with my boyfriend/girlfriend. I am very quick to snap at him/her for little things and somehow i fight with him/her about everything. I don't want to fight, but I cant help it, I feel like this is the end of the road for us.
Advice: During a relationship, it is easy to become tired and impatient. Sometimes, you just want to give up. We all know being in a relationship has its challenges, but you have to be patient and forgive easily. Everyone is guilty of getting upset too quickly... do you forgive as easily as well? If you find yourself getting upset, take a moment to gather your thoughts and talk to your partner about what is bothering you. Be constructive and when you are finished, have something to do. example: him: I will try not to leave the toilet seat up. her: I will try not to get upset when you leave it up and will politely remind you if you forget.
Friday, December 3, 2010
7 "Tell me more" phrases
Want to keep the conversation going without asking?
Say these magical conversational phrases to make the other person keep talking.
"Tell me more..."
"What are your reasons for your opinion" or "Why do you feel that way?"
"I never thought of it that way"
"That must have upset you" or "That must have been really fun!"
"How did it go?"
"You are a really generous person"
"I really admire that"
People love to talk about themselves. Lead them on with these lines. Good luck!
Say these magical conversational phrases to make the other person keep talking.
"Tell me more..."
"What are your reasons for your opinion" or "Why do you feel that way?"
"I never thought of it that way"
"That must have upset you" or "That must have been really fun!"
"How did it go?"
"You are a really generous person"
"I really admire that"
People love to talk about themselves. Lead them on with these lines. Good luck!
5 Questions to Ask your date
So you are on a your first, or maybe second date. What do you want to ask that person?
After you've asked all the regular/usual stuff and your stumped about what to ask him/her. try one of these:
What is your favorite scene from your favorite book/movie?
What do you love about your job?
Whats your definition of a relationship?
If money were no object, what would you do with your life?
What was your most embarrassing moment?
These are sure fire ways to get more info out of your date because everyone can come up with some kind of answer. You can add your input as well.
After you've asked all the regular/usual stuff and your stumped about what to ask him/her. try one of these:
What is your favorite scene from your favorite book/movie?
What do you love about your job?
Whats your definition of a relationship?
If money were no object, what would you do with your life?
What was your most embarrassing moment?
These are sure fire ways to get more info out of your date because everyone can come up with some kind of answer. You can add your input as well.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Dealing with a broken heart #3
It's kinda like going through detox.
Once you decide to stop using alcohol/drugs/whatever, you have to go through the process of getting it out of your system.
It's always hardest at the beginning because the "stuff" is still in your system.
But if you can take it day by day, then it starts to leave your "system" and the challenge is to not "go back" on it.
It's hard not to "go back on it" because you think you need it, and the "withdrawal" is so strong that you "think" that you cannot live without it.
Now maybe you have become addicted to the emotional "high" that it gave you, when it was good; and who doesn't want to feel emotionally "high", right?
But, you have to look at he whole relationship and why it didn't work. As much as I would like to say, sure, go ahead and call/text/etc. if it feels good, and will give you some temporary relief from your emotional discomfort, I don't know if that's the best advice I can give you.
The longer you don't contact him/her, the stronger you'll get.
The stronger you get, the less you will feel that your happiness depends on his/her "presence" in your life.
Once you decide to stop using alcohol/drugs/whatever, you have to go through the process of getting it out of your system.
It's always hardest at the beginning because the "stuff" is still in your system.
But if you can take it day by day, then it starts to leave your "system" and the challenge is to not "go back" on it.
It's hard not to "go back on it" because you think you need it, and the "withdrawal" is so strong that you "think" that you cannot live without it.
Now maybe you have become addicted to the emotional "high" that it gave you, when it was good; and who doesn't want to feel emotionally "high", right?
But, you have to look at he whole relationship and why it didn't work. As much as I would like to say, sure, go ahead and call/text/etc. if it feels good, and will give you some temporary relief from your emotional discomfort, I don't know if that's the best advice I can give you.
The longer you don't contact him/her, the stronger you'll get.
The stronger you get, the less you will feel that your happiness depends on his/her "presence" in your life.
Communication problems
It is difficult to be in relationship with someone who does not (or does not have the tools to) communicate. When times are rough, sometimes the only thing that a couple has to go on is:
1. their commitment to communicate with one another
2. their desire to come to a mutual understanding of the situation; whether it is to agree or agree to disagree
3. their desire to be honest without disregarding the other person's feelings
4. their desire to make it work, or resolve the issue.
1. their commitment to communicate with one another
2. their desire to come to a mutual understanding of the situation; whether it is to agree or agree to disagree
3. their desire to be honest without disregarding the other person's feelings
4. their desire to make it work, or resolve the issue.
Dealing with broken heart… #2
As you open your life to new experiences and new relationships, you feel the joys, wonders, and excitement of life and living. With those, though, come the potential for greater feelings of sadness and disappointment when some of those feelings fade, or don't come to fruition as one wished.
It's like taking the good with the bad. Or, taking the bad with the good. That doesn't mean you shouldn't stop experiencing more and more of life; that just means that sometimes, it doesn't come out
like you expected/wanted it to. And, what is important is that from every experience, good AND "bad"
is that you take something away from it; you learn something from it. So you always come away from it with the feeling that you have gained knowledge, experience, and are somehow better for it.
And when you have had enough life experiences as an adult, you can look back and say, "Wow, I'm really glad that happened" or "Yeah, I really learned a hell of a lot from that one".
It's like taking the good with the bad. Or, taking the bad with the good. That doesn't mean you shouldn't stop experiencing more and more of life; that just means that sometimes, it doesn't come out
like you expected/wanted it to. And, what is important is that from every experience, good AND "bad"
is that you take something away from it; you learn something from it. So you always come away from it with the feeling that you have gained knowledge, experience, and are somehow better for it.
And when you have had enough life experiences as an adult, you can look back and say, "Wow, I'm really glad that happened" or "Yeah, I really learned a hell of a lot from that one".
Dealing with broken heart… #1
- let your broken heart be sad. Don’t go out and do something you will regret. Its going to be a while before you’re ready again.
- try and be positive. Know in your mind and heart that you'll still wake up tomorrow, and you'll go do what you have to do, and you'll make it through the day, and the next and the next... it's hard, but you have to force yourself to keep putting one foot in front of the other. It takes time; but it'll get better day by day, week by week. It’s not the end of the world.
- keep yourself busy and focused on the direction of your own life/career. It’s easier said than done, but try to set some reasonable goal(s) for yourself so you don’t become immobilized.
- try and be positive. Know in your mind and heart that you'll still wake up tomorrow, and you'll go do what you have to do, and you'll make it through the day, and the next and the next... it's hard, but you have to force yourself to keep putting one foot in front of the other. It takes time; but it'll get better day by day, week by week. It’s not the end of the world.
- keep yourself busy and focused on the direction of your own life/career. It’s easier said than done, but try to set some reasonable goal(s) for yourself so you don’t become immobilized.
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